Best Family Jokes

Father and his 3 year old Daughter

2009-11-29T21:19:00.000-08:00

Father and his three year old Daughter

Father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her
a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying "God
bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa."
The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?" The little
girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to
do." The next day grandpa died.

The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few
months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers,
which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye
grandma."

The next day the grandmother died. Oh my god, thought
the father, this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks
later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, "God
bless Mommy and good-bye daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all
night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous
as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured
if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.

He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at
the end of the day he stayed there, looking at his watch and jumping at
every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and
went home.

When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you
work so late, what's the matter?" He said "I don't want to talk
about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never
believe what happened HERE." He asked "What"?????? She
said "This morning our neighbor James suddenly died."

Keep Laughing

Ballpen of NASA

2009-11-27T22:03:00.001-08:00

NASA's
Ballpen

When
NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that
ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem,
NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that
writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface
including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300
degrees Celsius.

The
Russians used a pencil.

Warning by a Husband

2009-11-27T21:32:00.000-08:00

Warning by a husband!

A blonde was driving down
the Freeway when her Mobile phone rang.

It was her husband warning her:

"Darling",
he said, "I just heard on the news that there is a car going the
wrong way down the Freeway. Please be careful!"

"Its not just
one car", cried the blonde, "There's fucking hundreds of them!"

Family Sentiment - Boy alone

2009-11-27T21:03:00.000-08:00

Can I Borrow Rs.25/-?

A woman came home
from work late, tired and irritated, to find her 5-year old son waiting
for her at the door.

SON: 'Mummy, may I ask you a question?'

MUM: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the woman.

SON: 'Mummy, how much do you make an hour?'

MUM: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the
woman said angrily.

SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'

MUM: 'If you must know, I make R 50 an hour.'

SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: 'Mummy, may I please borrow R25?'

The mother was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you
can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then
you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why
you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish
frivolities.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door..

The woman sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's
questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the woman had calmed down , and started to
think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that R25.00 and
she really didn't ask for money very often.The woman went to the door
of the little boy's room and opened the door.

'Are you asleep, son?' She asked.

'No Mummy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.

'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the woman.
'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the
R25 you asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you Mummy!' he yelled.
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The woman saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his
mother.

'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the mother grumbled.

'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.

'Mummy, I have R50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home
early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'

The mother was crushed... She put his arms around her little son, and
she begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We
should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some
time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do
remember to share that R50 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours..
But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the
rest of their lives.

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